Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Thursday, February 18, 2010
"Can I have some Ketchup, Please?"
Those were the words out of the mouth of my jokester-lovin' 9 year old last night! After a shopping trip to Kohl's, Seth, Simon & I go through the drive-thru at McDonalds for some ice cream. As the lady hands us our ice cream, Simon leans over and asks for some Ketchup!!! The lady gapes at us, eyes bulging out and replies, "What did you say?" He repeats the question. She just stares at us in bewilderment! I explain to the poor girl that it was a joke. As we drive away, I'm thinking that she just didn't get it!!! lol The boys laugh all the way home and daddy has to get after them at home 'cause their little brother & sister are sleeping!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Callie's Solution to Car Trouble
My two youngest children are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Friday. Once again, Mommy will have a day off and be able to spend ALL day doing things with them. They have a trip to the park on their agenda along with taking a 'towel' to have a picnic! We might even pick strawberries early in the morning.
Meanwhile, they are trying to convince me to take them to the park tonight! I told them that the van won't start. (it's having issues---one day it starts...the next day it doesn't---grrrr) A little while later, Callie comes over and says, "But Mommy, the stroller will start!" What a smart 2 year old! I just had to laugh at her solution for us going to the park. I guess at this point I could tell her, "But Callie, my legs won't start!" LOL
Meanwhile, they are trying to convince me to take them to the park tonight! I told them that the van won't start. (it's having issues---one day it starts...the next day it doesn't---grrrr) A little while later, Callie comes over and says, "But Mommy, the stroller will start!" What a smart 2 year old! I just had to laugh at her solution for us going to the park. I guess at this point I could tell her, "But Callie, my legs won't start!" LOL
Monday, March 23, 2009
Broccoli, Icing & a foil-covered bowl of Chili
Once upon a time there was a woman. This woman lived in a white house. The white house had a green roof and a green door. It was filled with furniture, toys, 4 kids, 1 man, & 1 blue and white lunchbox. The woman would pack the man's lunchbox with wonderful food 5 days a week.
Monday, the woman made chili for supper. She decided to pack some chili in her man's lunchbox. Tuesday morning, she pulled out the foil-covered bowl and tucked it safely inside the blue & white lunchbox. She added some other goodies and handed it to her man.
At lunchtime, the woman decided to heat up some broccoli. She lifted the foil off the bowl, and to her great surprise, discovered chili!
"Oh, no," she thought to herself. "I've given my man the broccoli instead of the chili."
She quickly called her man at work, explaining that he had a big bowl of broccoli instead of chili. The man was understanding and said he would just go out to eat. The woman was sad that her man would have to spend money to eat out. She was also sad that she couldn't eat the bowl of broccoli.
That night the woman had a brilliant idea. Why not pack the chili in the lunchbox the night before. Then, all she would have to do is pull the lunchbox out of the fridge and give it to her man in the morning.
She was so proud of herself the following morning as she pulled out the lunchbox and gave it to her man.
"No eating out today." she thought to herself. "I've finally got the lunch packed right!"
Around noon, the man pulls the bowl put of his lunchbox. He lifts off the foil and gazes at blue icing! He turns to a co-worker and says, "I just don't have the heart to tell her."
He calls his woman and asks if she's missing a bowl of icing. The woman goes to the fridge, lifts the foil off the bowl of icing and finds chili! She cannot believe it. She is very upset with herself. Once again, the man has to go out to eat. He, of course, is delighted with the fact that he gets to eat out 2 days in a row!
On Wednesday, the woman carefully puts the chili filled foil-covered bowl in the blue & white lunchbox. She has double and triple-checked the contents and is sure she packed the right food.
The man finally gets to enjoy a bowl of chili for his lunch.
The moral of the story is this.........
Monday, the woman made chili for supper. She decided to pack some chili in her man's lunchbox. Tuesday morning, she pulled out the foil-covered bowl and tucked it safely inside the blue & white lunchbox. She added some other goodies and handed it to her man.
At lunchtime, the woman decided to heat up some broccoli. She lifted the foil off the bowl, and to her great surprise, discovered chili!
"Oh, no," she thought to herself. "I've given my man the broccoli instead of the chili."
She quickly called her man at work, explaining that he had a big bowl of broccoli instead of chili. The man was understanding and said he would just go out to eat. The woman was sad that her man would have to spend money to eat out. She was also sad that she couldn't eat the bowl of broccoli.
That night the woman had a brilliant idea. Why not pack the chili in the lunchbox the night before. Then, all she would have to do is pull the lunchbox out of the fridge and give it to her man in the morning.
She was so proud of herself the following morning as she pulled out the lunchbox and gave it to her man.
"No eating out today." she thought to herself. "I've finally got the lunch packed right!"
Around noon, the man pulls the bowl put of his lunchbox. He lifts off the foil and gazes at blue icing! He turns to a co-worker and says, "I just don't have the heart to tell her."
He calls his woman and asks if she's missing a bowl of icing. The woman goes to the fridge, lifts the foil off the bowl of icing and finds chili! She cannot believe it. She is very upset with herself. Once again, the man has to go out to eat. He, of course, is delighted with the fact that he gets to eat out 2 days in a row!
On Wednesday, the woman carefully puts the chili filled foil-covered bowl in the blue & white lunchbox. She has double and triple-checked the contents and is sure she packed the right food.
The man finally gets to enjoy a bowl of chili for his lunch.
The moral of the story is this.........
Don't store broccoli, blue icing, & chili in the fridge in identical foil-covered white bowls!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
A funny story!
The following is an e-mail someone sent my husband. I thought I would share it with ya'll!
THE KOHL'S SHOPPING TRIP~~~~~~~~~~~~
(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make this stuff up! Oh, for you who don't know this: Kohl's is a really nice department store.)
Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit....no flies, no smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured Ellen. 'Come on, Ellen, let's just go..'
But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining,' I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue.' She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Impala would soon lose that new-car smell.
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to K & W Cafeteria. After they went through the serving line and they sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long!
As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision.
Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The NERVE of that woman!'Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.`Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with The Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:
After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors....... ......... the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!
God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in a while...He allows us to witness it!)
THE KOHL'S SHOPPING TRIP~~~~~~~~~~~~
(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make this stuff up! Oh, for you who don't know this: Kohl's is a really nice department store.)
Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit....no flies, no smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured Ellen. 'Come on, Ellen, let's just go..'
But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining,' I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue.' She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Impala would soon lose that new-car smell.
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to K & W Cafeteria. After they went through the serving line and they sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long!
As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision.
Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen. 'The NERVE of that woman!'Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line.`Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with The Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:
After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors....... ......... the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!
God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in a while...He allows us to witness it!)
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